Warning: some self-piteous, pretty egoic (via glorification of past self) brain-dumps below.
Wavy aura swirling and twirling On the motorbike of physical experience Action manifest In human form Divine being - what is your name? Who are you? Souls holding hands Around the black hole of the galaxy, Rotating, gyrating, Singing, smiling You thought you saw it all. But as quickly as it came, You became A loon. Oh dark night, When will you yield? And reveal All the colours I once saw And more? When will you present Your secrets to me? And unveil the mind I once had, But better?
Opinions. You share yours Willy nilly Prepare to look silly.
Sit forward, Stand back And bask in all that You lack. Meanwhile, Another rolls in love - Self-love, And attracts More love. Your presence reminds me Of what is not present Within me. Your aura instils in me A sense of lack. Fill my cup? Nope, I’ll do it myself.
Study the scriptures, bloody the soul Torn to shreds is a pack of Thoughts - a tapestry of Beliefs I once held So dear. All I grew to admire, Now holds me in a mire, As my mind torments itself With lost traits, attributes to grieve. Creativity, focus, Curiosity, discipline - Are these not the markers Of a sound mind? A mind which generates such Stunning, sonorous frequencies? And where can I find these attributes? Claim them, as one stakes a flag in the sand, In the grains which preceded and will succeed The placer of the flag? Oh, sound mind - Where are you? Where is the fluttering, floating, freely fabulous Little self, fluxating around a point of Excellency, vibrancy, brilliancy? Where is my mind?
From oasis to puddle, Geez - my head is in a muddle. I just think about how I’m not thinking, Cling desperately to past insights They flutter and flicker before my mind’s eye, Trying to regain the speed of thought by Following a train of thought - Picking a thread and pulling on it Until it separates from the mainchain Running on past merit - The products of a past intelligence One day, we’ll all lose our minds, So make the most of yours while you can.
Languid mind, languid soul - Trapped. Behind a glass window, Peering into the past, When I saw the law of language, And when the universe listened to itself, Through me. When I swirled into the ground, And things became beings - became me, Because everything became everything, And the harmonies of life aligned Into a neat package in the core of my mind, My soul. When I saw the integrated Whole, And its differentiated parts, Pulsating as the One Entity that we are.
Will this mind Generate; create; relate; Ever again? Will this soul Expand; express; ignite; Ever again? Unfeeling. Dampened. Dissolved. Devolved. Will this person Be free to evolve Ever again? Or are they condemned To a life of stifled stagnation?
Your smile elevates us. When you gaze upon me, I graze on the grass of your love. I live in a state of restlessness - Tormented skies, swirling danger Confronting emptiness in its eye - An eye that sees haze, With no clear sky I just don’t want to die, No - I want to feel alive Empty. Madness. Chaos. Confusion. No rest, no peace. Why? WHY? Where did you go? I’m trying to find you Help me out here Where are you? What is this? What is the point? What do I contribute?
Time heals, time kills. Time gives and takes All of life’s thrills. Time softens all your mistakes. Time equalises. Time tranquilises. Time erodes life and lump, Mind and matter, In spite of your quantum jump. Time overlooks all the world’s chatter. Time is the neutral arbiter Of life And death.
You entered me. I wanted to kill. Angelic demon or demonic angel? Doesn’t matter - Demon either way. Watched me as I cried For a time when you Murdered me, And hid the evidence. Laughed as my flesh melted From my bones And the stench of decay Filled our nostrils. Screamed stiff and sang melodically, Through me. I thought I was the one. Imbued me with Your ‘strength’. I didn’t need it. I didn’t want it. You didn’t care. Ripped through me, Like a horde of worms. I ran outside, in the rain, Barefoot on the stones To kill you. Did it work? Do you linger in My mind, my soul - Feeding off my fears, Fighting my recovery?
Your grip will loosen, As my frequency heightens. Goodbye, demon - Into the light (of fire) you go.
Limited mind, Just be kind. They’ll like you if You’re not so stiff. Just nod and smile, And for a while, They’ll think you’re nice, Though you lack some spice.
Limited mind, Don’t look behind. Just walk on ahead, And like they said: This too shall pass Just touch some grass And smell the soil - Forget the turmoil. All will be well, Though right now, that’s hard to sell.
Beneath the scratch Is a scar, so far You can’t see the beginning, Nor the end.
Beneath the scar is A stagnant lake Brimming with parasites, Swimming with murk.
Beneath the lake is A crusty crust - A non-bedrock base Of blankness and bore.
Beneath the crust is A fiery glacier - Magma meandering, Awaiting eruption.
Beneath the glacier is A solid core - The stateless state within which All other states occur.
Dormant. Waiting. If only you knew, The fire it cradles Down in the depths Of Self, Waiting to burst forth And shower the world With fresh fumes of ferocious force - Life force. We are alive!
Always the same, But never the same again. A one-time fleeting appearance As a character in a show with Seemingly different plots, Which on closer reflection, Reveal patterns - cycles, Some of which become swirls: Upwards to integration, Or downwards to disintegration. But ultimately, In the end, All will spiral toward the existential skies of time, And in time, All will explicitly reveal the Whole, Which is implicit in all its little parts - In the parts we play On this Earthly stage.
Paralysed. Staring, never starting. Waiting for the end, Or for reality to bend Again - To straighten to what was. Lamenting past in present. Watching my blood pumping. Feeling alive outside, but dead inside. Feeling the cold lick my legs, Reminding me I’m not dead yet. When will it end? This paralysis, or this life? I just want it to end. When will I wake up, or cease to sleep?
I remember when I felt the universe inside me, Outside me, When I heard the universe in everything, When I saw it all.